Children and Dog Amore

Olivia's first kiss!

Think We are With Dog Part 2

We went to the veterinarian with Trooper and he will have to stay there for one week. Trooper is now going through a de-worming program, and with the vaccinations shots he has to start all over again. His papers were not completed with all the shoots and they (shots) where also too old!


The trainer at the Kennel told us the story about how the owner had bought this beige Labrador Retriever from Hungary (900 Euro) as a present for his son. The dog dug up the whole yard so the owner put him (not the son) in the Kennel and said, "Give it away!"

That was 3 months and 180 Euro in kennel fees ago.


The trainer had told our Italian translator that if we wanted to give him some money for the dogs boarding bill, it would be great, but just if we wanted.



Todd and I, with big animal hearts thought to ourselves, "of course we will, hell we will even help him with other dogs and medicine."



A phone call three days after our first meeting, we said "yes we wanted Trooper". We agreed we would meet the owner and sign the papers at the Kennel. (In Italy, there is a formal procedure to transfer ownership of a pet.)


For us it is very important to have the papers signed, not least of all because the microchip has the owners name. Later with the paper we will have to go to an Italian office and change the name of the ownership. So it is very important.


I whispered to Todd that this man-- the owner-- would not show up, he would have other things to do than signing papers at a place where he has a bill!


And of course, he didn't show up. The trainer tried his five phone numbers and the answer he got, "he is to busy"



Another Italian friend of mine said, "who else than the Camora has five different phone numbers?"



Oh-boy! Are we having a "hot" Camora! dog?

Think We are With Dog

At the pet cemetery, visiting Ranger's grave a week ago, one of the ladies that works there told us about a man who wanted to give away his young Labrador Retriever. Where we interested?

I looked at my husband and his big smile--if his ears hadn't been there his smile would have gone around his head.

I thought it was to soon to get a new dog. I still grieved Ranger baddly, and replacing a beloved black Labrador with another black Labrador didn't tempt me. Later we found out that the dog was beige, 9 months old, and had been sitting in a cage at a Kennel for nearly three months. The dog's plight (and difference from Ranger) made my heart open up. OK, no harm in visiting him.


We found out that the man with the kennel wanted rent money for the three months the dog had been there, 180 Euro. Hmmm we could understand the kennel owner....but why wouldn't the owner pay for rent, for a young beautiful Labrador male that was imported from Hungary and they had (allegedly) paid 900 Euro for?


One of my Italian friends said, half joking half serious, "It sounds like Camora!"

This is confusing Amore!

More Later!

Signing Petitions

Many people are sending me different petition actions to sign via e mail. I am so grateful for that since it keeps me updated, I can sign and also write about it here on my blog.

I have noticed that some people can become irritated if they don't find my name on the petition after they have sent it to me. Many times they resend the petition to me. And, if I don't sign the petition this time "they" become angry.

Could you please let people decide if they want to sign the petition? Sometimes have I already gotten it from someone else and already signed it (or decided not to, for my own reasons). I am certainly not going to sign the same petition twice!

Let people decide if they want to sign or not, and accept that. Not every cause is for everyone. That is accepting Amore!

Grieving Animals

To be devastated when you lose a friend doesn't mean that it has to be a dog or horse. Many think that the grief is greater for bigger animals than for smaller.

It all depends on how "that" animal touched your heart!

Walking around at the cemetery relaxes me. With the birds and water fountain in background I walk around reading from the tombstones. The owners have written such beautiful messages and stories. Looking at the pictures, it is heart warming, to see all these animals that have made "their" people happy.

How many times do we look at human tombstones and feel the same? Human tombstones tend to be cold monuments to human achievement, while these pet tombstones are warm testaments to the love and companionship afforded by one soul to others. The sweet messages and stories speak of a love that didn't end at the grave.

Grieving is one kind off Amore!

Words That Touches Your Heart

I am starting to feel like a widow who constantly "talks" about Ranger, I am sorry but this is so hard for me.

" You" say I express my feelings very well in my texts, but I want to publish an e-mail from a friend that really can express herself. Tears fell as I read;

"Oh Mia, I just read your blog and I am so sorry. I don't ever know what to say in situations like this. Everyone handles losses so differently. I know writing about it helps a little, even if it's your way of raging at the heavens and "not scaring the kids". I remember Ranger...what a wonderful, gorgeous big guy he was. I know he misses you so much and hates that he had to leave you so suddenly. You all gave him such a wonderful life and he was such a good teacher to the other dogs, to Olivia, to you and Todd and even to Max, I'm sure. Because it was his time to go doesn't make it hurt any less. My heart still aches for the animal friends I've lost, even if I only knew them a short time before their passing. I guess the only thing that ever helped me was to make sure I had time to grieve. Don't cut it short. He was such a big part of your lives that (I know you know this) it wouldn't be right to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say "no more crying" and abruptly end it. I don't think that's at all healthy or even respectful to you or Ranger. Feel your feelings and feel them to their fullest. Only then will you be able to realize all the things Ranger came to teach you. As you often say, Animals are our best teachers.He was a great friend. I am so heartbroken for you. Monty and I send our love and hope you are able to smile again when it's time.We'll talk again soon. Jenn"

This is touching Amore words!

Lost Parrot Tells Vet His Address

What a sweet story about a lost parrot who knew his name and address.

Happy Ending Amore!

Always

Sarai Sempre con noi, nei nostri cuori e nelle nostre preghiere.

Time to Move on

The day we buried Ranger, I was comforted by numerous dogs--and a cat--at the cemetery.

What a wonderful job they are doing, greeting us heartbroken people. Helping us to move on from absolute, debilitating grief to a place of sorrowful acceptance and healthy mourning.

After the "ceremony" I sat down on a wooden bench, crying. Suddenly, I felt someone next to me. I looked right into a pair of beautiful eyes that made me smile.

Thank you my friend for sitting quietly together with me at the moment I needed someone the most.

That is healing Amore!

Empty House

I noticed that grieving with children can also be hard. Max is --of course-- too young to understand, but Olivia is understanding that we lost a dog. She reads me like a book(children look into your eyes and can read your soul.) What has been difficult is that I haven't been able to be by myself and grieve or scream or cry out loud. Not even in the car. I always have someone with me and I don't want to scare that person/child/dog. Sometimes a mom also needs to be alone for a moment.

This morning Olivia said, "I'm sad. Rah-Rah heaven."

Small things bring back big memories. Every morning I give the dogs their vitamins, and still each morning I take out four tablets... and a second later I realize we "just" have three dogs now.

Still, am I typing four.....

We went on a trip to a beautiful city down by the water. The Italian coastguard had a fantastic dog and of course we went over and started to talk to them about their dog. But even there, without noticing it I said, "We have four dogs at home!"

Quattro cani in casa. We still feel his presence in everything.

In the mornings I don't want to walk down from the second floor. Ranger always stood there greeting me (us), happy in the morning and ready to eat!

And how can a house feel empty with two children and three big dogs?

Lost Amore hurts!

People's Words

One week has gone by since we lost our beloved Ranger. In one way it seems like a month ago. Is it because when grieving, you shut the world out?

Sometimes it can be difficult to hear comments that some people make, especially from those who don't have had any animals themselves. "Oh you have three dogs left, just go and spend time with them!"

But most people have been wonderful and thoughtful towards us in our grief.

Yet, and still I don't want to meet people. I guess one reason why it hurts so much is that I feel like our dogs couldn't be safe in their own home. There is my anger towards someone who shouldn't have fed our dog(s), that did it without knowledge.

I found out that one person was feeding him several bones and my Italian friends yelled at this person to stop, "Even bambini know not to feed a dog bones!"

A week later. Nothing feels fun, I feel like I just want the hours and days to pass.

Someone said to me that everything happens for a reason, and something good will probably come out of this even if I cannot see it now. I know that this person wants me to feel better, but I cannot see it that way....I see it that we had to learn, the hard way. And are now suffering because of it.

One out of many kind and beautiful e-mails that we have received is from Todd's friend in Alabama:

"Yes I remember Ranger and we are very sorry to hear of his passing. Although
Janice and I never had pets, both our kids do and we know how close one can
become attached to them. Our younger daughter had a cat and several months
ago it passed away. Real emotional time. If it is of any consolation,
you can take solace in the fact that you and your family provided him with a kind
and loving home and someday God in his infinite wisdom, mercy, and knowing how
you feel about him will reunite you with him and you will continue your loving
relationship in a place where infinite happiness is the norm/status quo.
Steve "

This is friendship Amore!

Grieving -- the pack says goodbye

It is not just we humans that are grieving, animals do too. It is not only two-legged creatures that need to attain "closure", the other animals in the family (pack) do too.

Human funerals serve this purpose, as do wakes. They are as much a celebration of life, as they are a place for grieving the dead.

From experience while working with animals, I know animals that have become depressed when one "family" member have passed away. One dog refused to go with the family in their car since their other dog had been rushed to the hospital and never returned home. This Rottweiler was afraid to go in the car and never return home himself, he didn't understand what had happened, just the disappearance.

I know that Elephants have a funeral, and can walk miles to attend one. So bringing home Ranger from the hospital was never strange or a worry for us. Indeed, it was an imperative.

We put him in the basement and opened the plastic sheets he was wrapped in. Then, we called down the other dogs. Tjojs, my twelve year-old Rottweiler-German Shepherd-Border Collie mix sniffed and walked away. She was satisfied to know the facts, but as a strong clever dog she knew death is nothing strange. Our Collie Clyde, a six-year-old former stray dog, refused to go and sniff. He is not indifferent! He is not himself and seems to be more in denial. Shiloh, the Pit Bull-Pointer mix --three-year-old -- is the one who is grieving the most. She kept circling, sniffing, and backing away. Finally, with her nose she tried several times to close the plastic bag, as if burying Ranger... very gentle and sweet.

Shiloh adored Ranger! They slept together (often, Shiloh would sleep on top of Ranger) she always hung over him. He gruffed a little, but never refused her. They wrestled in the garden, they were always out together. Ranger always took cared of her, patient and loving. Ranger was the first "pack member" to accept Shiloh when she was brought into the family.

Shiloh doesn't sleep were they slept before he passed away. No one sleeps on the first floor any more were Ranger always slept, on his bed by the door. Our first line of defense.

This is grieving Amore!

Cemetary for Pets

Continuing the Memorial for Ranger.

Sunday evening, we went to the Veterinary Clinic where Ranger had passed away, to retrieve his body. We had a kind of "wake" for him at home, where both humans and the other dogs could come and pay their respects, and come to terms with the tragedy. He spent the night in our cool basement, guarding the rest of the family one last time.

Monday morning the Cemetery van came and picked Ranger up. A very quiet, gentle and kind man who understood our grief. He treated Ranger with respect, which was a huge comfort to us.

We followed the van thinking that a cemetery didn't feel right for us, we wanted his ashes in a urn. But that just wasn't an option here, unfortunately. How could a sad place heal us and how could a sad place look "pretty"? We thought about the garbage problem, and how people have to live with that surrounding so how could a Cemetery for pets be nice?

On our way we saw stray dogs roaming around on the streets, garbage piles and empty ugly houses, a very sad environment that we live among.

Suddenly the van made a left turn off the road, and then a right turn into a park. A wonderful green park with beautiful flowers, and nice cut bushes, a water-fountain gave a relaxing sound. We walked out of our car and were greeted by a happy three-legged Yorkshire Terrier followed by his friend; a red cat. Behind them a big gray Mastiff (7 months old) wobbled out of his small dog house, and loped toward us on his huge paws. Some other pets greeted us and their love and healing felt so wonderful. We laughed while our tears ran down our cheeks.

Two men gently lifted Ranger out of the heavy plastic bag (that the hospital had put him in and I hated)--he had lost a lot of blood and flies became attracted--and put him on a big piece of fabric up on a table. Todd had put Ranger's red collar with tags on him. {Ranger Mercer, 910-868-6424. Reward for Return, "I Am Loved"} He had bought a raw-hide chew bone ("He will be hungry at the Rainbow Bridge", Todd said), and together with his little, red teddy-bear and favorite blue blanket we could "see" and be with him for the last time. That meant a lot for us to stand in peace with him; we are thankful they gave us the time to say good bye.

They wrapped him in the fabric and put him gently on a cart and we walked to the grave we had selected for him. Throughout the process, the cemetery people were respectful and reverent. He was a loved soul in their care, and they took their task seriously.

With Ranger placed kindly into his grave, Todd shoveled the first spade of dirt, then the men finished burying our boy. Olivia had a white flower that she gave to him. I thanked Ranger for letting me into his life and I recalled how when Todd was in Iraq, Ranger slept on the sofa snoring so it sounded like Todd was home. It was then a relaxing, comforting, wonderful sound; and now a fond memory!

Todd read the poem about the Rainbow Bridge and said good bye to his dear, old friend, and thanked him for being a wonderful and patient buddy, "He was always so loving and patient, waiting days and weeks for promised walks, rides in the truck and play."

The funeral process done, we wiped our eyes and sniffled back the continuing tears. Olivia had to go to the bathroom, and we walked away from Ranger's grave toward the cemetery office. Still, we didn't want to leave. Over the next 30-40 minutes, we individually and together gravitated back again and again, to say one more thing to Ranger, reminisce or to weep some more. All of us.

It was comforting for him to be in such a beautiful, serene, honorable place. He's among other obviously loved and missed pets. In that way it is nice. But he can't come and nudge our hand over his head for a much-needed pet; can't slobber over us in loving ecstasy, and can't solemnly tolerate Olivia climbing on him any more. He's with us in spirit, we know, and his love for us remains. But he isn't with us in body. And that's what really hurts.

Gosh, Ranger, we are so heartbroken without you. Our Amore Goof!

Ranger's Thoughts

Continuing Memorium off Ranger Black Labrador

photo; Olivia hugging Ranger ("sister" Shiloh blk/wht)

“You have to continue loving other dogs. I will never feel replaced. Your thoughts and feelings are vibrations into the Universe and I will receive them. If you cannot love another dog and give him that love, I feel like my job was not completed. We dogs know unconditional love, that is what we are trying to teach you human beings.”

Ranger's Amore thoughts!

Mourning Family

We all mourn differently and to watch our family mourning is very interesting and educating... and of course heart-wrenching.

The two legged family has cried--still--my husband mopes around sad, I am sad and angry and Olivia, she tells us to be quiet, "Rah-Rah is sleeping."

When she sees dad and me crying she looks at us with her deep blue concerned eyes and tells us to kiss each other. My little (big) Amore girl!



My (our) very good friend Paulo was on her way over Sunday to give Max a baptism present, she got shocked when she got the news when arriving. Ranger was also her favorite dog of our four!

What was wonderful in that devastating moment of grief was that Paola took over the phone, called the ER station and wanted the whole situation explained. She also called two other veterinarians to find out if everything had been taken cared properly.

We told her we wanted Ranger's body from the vet clinic where he had died, and we desired cremation since we wanted to be able to bring the ashes with us when we moved. She made some calls to various places, conducting research on the phone (on a Sunday morning) and the only place that would do cremation individually (opposed to a mass incineration) was more than a three hour drive from here and only cremated once a week. The weather is getting hotter and it would be impossible to have his body here for so long. Paola told us about a cemetery outside Varcaturo that is so beautiful, "I cried when I walked out of there because it is so beautiful." she told us.

She made all the arrangements, called the cemetery several times and they would come and pick him up the next day in the morning and we could follow.

Paola we love you for your loving support and love. Super Amore!

Going Against Intuition

When is the time to say good bye to our four legged friend?

That is a difficult question that many people ask me. Many times they call me and ask me, "Is he ready?"

You know when the time is there, you can feel it. But sometimes other people interfere with their eyes and logic instead of their gut feelings and that interference disconnects the intuition. Animals know. They prepare themselves and leave the pack so they are not a burden any more. That is still unconditional love from them into the end.

Some people are watching with their eyes, "He is not in pain, he is not howling."

Animals go into a state of mind were they start to close the world off. They have to be strong right up to the last minute. They can not "scream," they are protecting their pack from attracting enemies, and to scream would signal weakness and vulnerability.

When mourning you start to go through, if and whys. Questioning and re-questioning decisions you made, or didn't make, that maybe contributed to the end result. It eats at your mind and your heart, everything is aching. You wish, you hope, you want to wake up from a bad dream.

Saturday, Max's baptism was a wonderful day. We had our four dogs on the back side of our house. No one would go into the back yard and bother them. The Barbecue started and at some time, someone threw in a rib to the dogs. Ranger, our Black Labrador ate one. A person who no doubt thought that "he" did something nice, instead started a chain of events with a deathly outcome. also believe a plastic cup blew in where the dogs were, and Ranger smelled something wonderful and took a bite that would later lodge in his throat, and yet later when he vomited, he would aspirate into his lungs, eventually sawing his lungs up and causing internal bleeding.

Later we heard him coughing, clearly something was stuck in his throat. People said, "If he is not good 'till Monday I will show you were the ER veterinarian is"

Later, too much later, I said "He wont make it through the night, he is getting worse, something is cutting him."

People said, " No he probably scratched his throat."

Later, was too late!

When he threw up with blood, after everyone else had left, it was finally crystal clear that he was in dire circumstances. Todd called to get the friend out of bed to show us where the 24-hour clinic was (note, always know this when moving to a new location), and he sped Ranger there.

Emergency surgery took care of the rib in his throat, and took out some other stuff from his stomach: plastic, a balloon, whole olives. But the physical damage to his lungs was apparently too much. He continued unconscious under anesthesia for about 7 hours, but when he should have been transitioning out of the anesthesia, he went into respiratory distress, followed by failure. The vet clinic says they tried several things to revive him, and actually had him for about 30 seconds, but they lost him in the end.

Try to always go on your gut feeling. When it comes to your friend, your connection with him is stronger than stranger's eyes.

Our Big Amore Goof! We Are so sorry we didn't listen to our heart. We are so sad without you!

In Memorium

Our beloved Ranger passed away on Sunday morning, 11 May 2008, Mother's Day. His departure has left a huge hole in all our hearts that we are yet only beginning to comprehend.

Born 12 July 1999 in Killeen, Texas

Died 11 May 2008 in Naples, Italy

Lived and loved along the way in Fayetteville, North Carolina and Bowling Green, Ohio.

AKC registered name: Jackson's Texas Ranger

Known lovingly as Ranger, Little One (Grandma's name for him),Little Buddy, Ranger Buddy, and Rar-Rar (Olivia's name for him).

He was 2 months and 1 day shy of his 9th birthday. Far too young to leave us, far too loved to be replaced. He never woke up from anesthesia after emergency surgery to remove a rib bone from his esophagus; he had apparently inhalated plastic or bone fragments into his lungs, and his efforts to remove the obstruction from his throat caused the sharp pieces to saw into his lungs. His huge heart just couldn't overcome the injuries.

A big, gentle, loving goof of a soul; a water dog that hated the water; a retriever that would chase after the chaser, but not retrieve anything himself; a Labrador that drooled like a Saint Bernard. He was not the dog of my youth, but he will forever be the dog of my heart.

Rest in Peace, my beloved Ranger. Your work here is done. Your little sister Shiloh is lost without you. Your family misses you so much already, you have left a huge hole in our heart and lives. Wait for me at the field before the Rainbow Bridge. I will be there for you one day.

Todd
Mia, Jackson, Olivia, Maximillian
Tjojs, Shiloh & Clyde

Maximillians Baptism

is coming up.

This Saturday we will have Maximillians Baptism together with family, and friends. People with different Nationalities will come and join us to celebrate our sons big day; Sweden, America, Greece, Italy, Germany, Ukraine, Estonia, France and Scotland. We are so happy and thrilled ( --and stressed).

This is Amore, Karlek, Armastama, Liebe, Amour.

Abused Mothers

"Hi Mia,
Ever since the day I met you, I have wanted to share this video with you. I had to contact my mom to give me the link. My mom is an interior decorator and went to a conference where she met this amazing woman, who did wonderful work at a woman's shelter. She painted over the walls in their original grey and gloomy state to have rainbows and flowers and beautiful things for the women to see instead. The video shows some of the women that live there and the before and after pictures of inside the shelter. Genni" Video

The result is Super Amore!

Homeless People and Dogs

While in Bosnia and rescuing stray dogs, the months turned into more than a year. The organization we helped had tiny doghouses where they chained the dogs 24/7. When the President would go to Germany she took approximately fifteen dogs with her to be left with another organization in Germany (she did this maybe twice a year).

Some dogs didn’t make it out of her “camp” especially the older ones had to stay. Also the bigger dogs that seemed to have too much energy. But what would you expect from a dog that was chained up all the time on a one meter chain?

Sometimes I helped with feeding them. It was very stressful for the dogs and for me. I still don’t know how the other workers felt, they never complained or had any negative comments. Being Bosnian and having nothing after the war, maybe they were afraid that the money would stop coming in if they complained?

One day I noticed that some off the dogs had changed. Their spirit wasn't "glowing" anymore.
I realized it was a high price they had to pay, being caught-- kept on a short chain-- after being "free" roaming around for several months and for some, even years.


Did we do the right thing to kill their spirit by holding them and keeping their body alive?


Years later an Italian friend asked me about Sweden. One off her questions was about our welfare. I told her that we had homeless people and soup kitchens and some places the homeless could live. Suddenly I remembered what one volunteer had told me.
“There are some people that don’t want an apartment, they just come for the food.”
I didn’t understand why --- why wouldn’t anyone want an apartment?
“They love their freedom, and they have learned how to survive on the street for a long time. They feel like they would die with what they think is being "locked in" and living by someone else’s law that they don’t agree with.”

This made me think off the dogs in Bosnia chained up, and also the free older dogs here in Italy that love their area. The people around them are so used by feeding them every day. They also want their freedom and not anyone’s law, a chained up law.


Liberta e Amore!

A Bitter Sweet Moment

Sunday the 27th, I wrote about Blondie the puppy that Animal without Limits (we) found on the street. We took her over for medicine and to be boarded at the Dr Fritz veterinarian clinic for health treatment. Dr. Fritz called me this morning. Sadly, Blondie had to be put down to sleep today, this morning. She was doing fine until she had a seizure attack today and it showed she had distemper.

Such a bittersweet moment! It is just plain sad that so many dogs are roaming around on the streets with painful, ultimately deadly disease(s). The mother dogs don't have a high immune system themselves, and her puppies are not getting the protection they would have gotten from a healthy, strong mother dog. And obviously, without a human family, no vaccinations to help protect them, either.

One could look at it as wasted time and effort (and money). But, if we wouldn't have found her and bought her in she would have had suffered a long, painful death. So, in that way we spared her, and gave her nearly a week with people that truly love and care for their animal guests. But to know she is one off hundreds breaks my heart.

Show us Amore. Please help!

Puppy Adoption

I admit it!
I cannot adopt dogs away. Not that I want to keep them--OK that wouldn't be bad--but how difficult it is many times and for different reasons. Of course there are many people that are wonderful, adopting dogs and giving them love and discipline and food and a new home --OK wrong order but you get the point.--

But then there are these people that I cannot stand being around, who think they are doing the biggest thing in the world by giving a dog a new home, and should be treated like Royalty!

First they don't want to pay to adopt a stray puppy. Remember they are doing a great contribution.
Donation? eh! They don't think about all the medicines, surgery and food the puppy got at the veterinarian before, so they could have a healty dog. Isn't that free?

It is not housebroken yet? What! We have had they dog for three (3) weeks now and he doesn't know how to flush yet. No, no, no...something is wrong I have to return the puppy!--was your daughter born diaper free?

The puppy is playing rough, he already "nibbled" our daughter while playing. You certainly cannot expect us to keep a dangerous animal in the house! Eh, did you see when your little girl pulled his tail and the puppy thought, "Playtime!"

Get educated, read, talk, study, critically think about the life changes you and your adoptee will have. Its a lifetime commitment for the dog, after all. And by they way, start out with a goldfish!

This is Amore irritation !