Empty House

I noticed that grieving with children can also be hard. Max is --of course-- too young to understand, but Olivia is understanding that we lost a dog. She reads me like a book(children look into your eyes and can read your soul.) What has been difficult is that I haven't been able to be by myself and grieve or scream or cry out loud. Not even in the car. I always have someone with me and I don't want to scare that person/child/dog. Sometimes a mom also needs to be alone for a moment.

This morning Olivia said, "I'm sad. Rah-Rah heaven."

Small things bring back big memories. Every morning I give the dogs their vitamins, and still each morning I take out four tablets... and a second later I realize we "just" have three dogs now.

Still, am I typing four.....

We went on a trip to a beautiful city down by the water. The Italian coastguard had a fantastic dog and of course we went over and started to talk to them about their dog. But even there, without noticing it I said, "We have four dogs at home!"

Quattro cani in casa. We still feel his presence in everything.

In the mornings I don't want to walk down from the second floor. Ranger always stood there greeting me (us), happy in the morning and ready to eat!

And how can a house feel empty with two children and three big dogs?

Lost Amore hurts!