Ghost or Common Sense?

I was standing talking to a woman and her dog Pippi (named after Pippi Långstrump). They had just moved into a, new two-story house.
“I am concerned about our dog,” she said “when she walked into our master bedroom she became so frightened! It was terrible to see.”

“Maybe you have a ghost in your bedroom.” I suggested, only half kidding.
She took me for a guided tour in her beautiful new house, on a leash Pippi walked next to us. When we went up the stairs I took the leash and asked the woman to be quiet so I could pick up on what Pippi was sending to me.

“Her family from the past found her one day on the second floor and punished her badly”, I told her after a time.
“That explains why she has been afraid in all the two-story houses we visit, our former home was just one floor.”

I told the woman to just ignore Pippi’s behavior. I could sense from Pippi that she felt so secure with her family, and this behavior would soon pass.

A couple of days later I spoke with Pippi’s owner and she told me happily that Pippi first refused to sleep on the second floor but one night she came up and laid next to their bed, just as she had in their old, single story home.

The people that had found Pippi-- before she got adopted by the lovely Family Sims--, told me that she had lived in a two-story house, before the family moved and kicked her out on the street.

Animals and Children

Animals are such a big resource in our lives, and especially for children. During my work, I have seen many children (adults too) open up when animals are around them. Children learn responsibility, and love, and many understand that animals are not judgmental; the love they give is unconditional. But I have also learned that if we don’t involve children in programs with animals, they will many times abuse animals themselves.

Some abusing parents, who discovered that their child was fond of a pet, would many times emotionally abuse their child even more. The abuser had found another vulnerable spot, to torture their child’s pet, and loved to see the child’s anxiety level rise yet higher. Children that are very affectionate with animals will do anything to protect their animal.
In one case, an abused daughter begged her father to hit her rather than her puppy. Instead, the father killed the puppy. Her begging was a payoff for him.

One day a client came to me with his dog and asked why the dog ran in circles trying to bite his tail all the time. I found out that the dog was abused while in discipline training. He was so overstressed and did this to forget the outside world. The owner had the tail surgically removed, but the behavior continued

Morning sickness

I do wonder who named it Morning Sickness....I bet it was a man!

I don't just have it in the mornings, I have it 24/7 . Now I understand why we forget how our last pregnancys was-- the brain is shrinking with 7% every pregnancy.

Even more blond moments to look forwar too, what an excitement!

Family moving

It is so wonderful to hear Olivia 22 months, shouting "Mamma, mamma!" A fantastic "pay off" for being a mother.

The end of next month its time for new adventures.

We are moving to Italy! I cannot wait, I am so thrilled to get back to Europe.

Forgive me America, you have been a great experience and I have got so much material for a new book(s). I will miss you.

Of course our four dogs are coming with us, they are family too.

You who have read my books know my dog Tjojs--she is coming--my beautiful queen.

A new chapter starts.

Spanking

It is amazing how many adults says it is ok to spank, everybody says the same; it is about discipline. Ninety five percent-that I asked- agreed that it was ok, as long as you are not out of control.
But in the moment of heat, irritation, or frustration, how can you be aware if you are out of control or not?
The discipline of spanking is not helping if the child is already neglected. That will make things worse. The child craves attention, and his parents are irritated when the boy tries to joke, talk, or touch to make his parents see him.
Many parents don’t have the time. Some work double shifts and are tired when they come home. Irritation and lack of sleep doesn’t make for rational decisions, and spanking can mean crossing the line. Generations after generation have been spanked. That is the experience and knowledge they have, and it works from the perspective of them and the generations before them.
You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge. But if we do know that the numbers are so high in abuse cases isn’t it time to start working on a better way to communicate with our children?

Stay in good Faith

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Saftey on Internet

I got so many emails from people that either been in the same situation as I, or know someone who have been betraying the other half. Thank you so much for all your kind words and interesting stories. Maybe I should thank this situation, I am getting a lot of new material for a new book!

Internet is a great tool but lately people are more and more spending time in front of the screen. Porn has become easy to access and download, buying things, gambling; getting addicted and in dept. But not to forget, it is also a great tool for research, news and keeping up with family and friends.

For all of us users it is a test of moral and respect, but why is so many failing?

This "pen pal friend woman" was bored, even though she is a successful lawyer and "happy" married, but why getting bored so fast in life?

So I guess we don't just need safety control on the computer for our children, we need it in our marriage. Sad thought!

I am going to make the doghouse ready for the fallen hero. He is returning today.
Have a great weekend!

Betrayed

What do you do when your best friend, your lover, your life has betrayed you?
How many times am I going to listen to excuses that is not even making sense?

How come people can sit and e mail each other and give out sex fantasies, or complaint about the other half ? Or sound like they are having a bad marriage so the other woman can nurture his ego.
It hurts so bad to realize that the man you trust is having another side playing games with other women on Internet.

We had a trust, I thought. I am so sad.

Who's stupid?

My neighbor came up to me one day very irritated over his dog, a little old terrier.
“That stupid dog has chewed off all the fur on her ass.”
Of course that comment made me curious so I asked why she had done that.
“I guess she has fleas.” he answered.
“Well excuse me but who is the stupid one here?”

Some teenage girls were running around the area and lit the horses’ tails on fire. When they were caught, the girls said they were “bored”… that’s why they did it.

Wow, so many intelligent people here.

Any healthy molesters?

Angela wrote and asked me if I think predators can be cured?

In my own opinion, I don’t think any molester can be cured from their desire --- their craving ---, I truly don’t. They can get treatment but never “recover” one hundred percent.
Some years ago, I believed that there was hope for those people who abused children. I guess I wanted to believe that there is always some good within every person. But these people have been sick for such a long time that they cannot be fully recovered. Or the treatment is not that great yet.
Many of them don’t have any conscience or sufficient morality to keep them from their perversion.

Why Animals and not Children?

One person wrote to me asking why I am having Animals before Children? Is it that I think Animals stands higher than Children?
Hmm, no I don't think anyone stands higher than the other, I don't judge and that makes life easier to see everything as equal.

Happy Summer Children

Olivia and I are quiet often joining the Wednesday Playgroup. It starts at 0930 and always at 11.00 Olivia wants to leave. We never need a watch, she's right on the spot.

All the children put their painted hands on Jennifer's belly.

Monty, the big loving dog wants to heard the children.

Educate Children

The FBI calculates that there is a sex offender living in every square mile of the United States. One in ten men has molested a child. Most child molesters are able to molest dozens of children before they are caught and have a three percent chance of being held for their crimes. Almost one fourth of the victims will be molested some time before their 18th birthday. Less than five percent will tell anyone. Children are most often abused by someone they know and trust; someone their parents would not suspect. The last couple of years, many of us have begun to realize how many child molesters are living close to us.
As parents and adults we all need to put more effort into learning about the problem of child molestation instead of placing all the responsibility for safety on our children. Our children will be safer if we work together.

Data from FBI’s homepage

Stepmother

I have never had anything against being a stepmother (I’ve been one twice), but it is a situation that can be hard. For me the positive part is that I have an extra “kid” in the house that I love. But the down-side is in my case is trying to avoid being too emotionally involved when his parents cannot get along and they put him in the middle of their disagreements. Sometimes my opinion is heard and sometimes I am not allowed to say anything. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions.

Many selfish divorced parents use their children as weapons to get back at the other parent. And I can just imagine how it is for the “kid” being torn between them and not allowed by one to be too happy when visiting the other. The parent(s) know all too well that he/she has the sharpest emotional weapon.

A friend told me that when the stepchild is older he will understand the whole situation and make his own choice. But I don’t want to wait that long, so many years will be lost, so much love missed. And who knows, for me as an abused child it took 30 years before I dared to break lose from my past. It hurts, too, that his little sister Olivia will miss so much from him; he is just such an awesome big brother.

Parents, your kid’s happiness should be the most important goal in your life, not revenge!

Pregnancy

I was told, when pregnant your brain shrinks 7 percent! I wish other parts would shrink and not the one-- the brain-- that I do need so badly. My chest is now DDD (yes I counted right, I do not have a hick up) and hemorrhoids big as plums. Yee, who said it was easy being pregnant! Here my husbands complains that he has to shave every day…well who doesn’t the hair is growing faster now too. The worst thing is, that you further into the pregnancy you are you cannot see your legs. The only band aid in this house are those with Gummi Bears on, and a daughter that get upset when you try to take them.

Animals and Children

We where working in Bosnia with my foundation Animals Without Limits with spay and neuter programs which were helping both the animals and the people.

I also followed other projects and made a lot of notes that I knew I would write about in the future.
The animals had a very quick healing effect on the children that had been abused in Bosnia. I was amazed and happy at the same time, and wanted everyone to see it for themselves.
A sad story doesn’t in many cases have a happy ending, but with some help it can change the direction of a human’s life.
A young boy hadn’t been speaking for several months -- close to one year—but started to show emotions when he got his own dog. After two meetings with the dog he reached after her and petted her with a gentle hand. Tears were running down his cheeks and he said “Mother”.

Energy is the language of emotion's.

I am having two hearts!

I saw it on the ultrasound.
Today I met Max for the first time, and he is only big as a peanut. It is freaky awesome to be able to see that little tiny heart on a monitor.
So New Years Eve I know what I am doing....meeting our little angel from above.

Yes I know it is a boy, a mothers intuition, you know!

Childrens and Parents Saftey

Educating yourself, and your child(ren) against predators can save lives. Predators don’t like to be around parents that have knowledge about their desires and methods; they seek the families that are easy targets, even if many predators are patient, smart and can wait for the right moment.

There are fantastic people who have put up great and informative sites on the Internet where you can sit, read and learn whenever you want. http://www.perverted-justice.com/ This site is highly recommended by Datelines NBC correspondent "To Catch a Predator" Cris Hansen on Primetime.

Many of us seek to teach children about good touching and bad touching. Quiet many of the predators use secret touching on their victims. This great book, "A Touching Book...for little people and for big people" by Jan Hindman www.janhindman.com is for all ages; it is a must for all parents to read together with their families. Have a discussion together, be informed together.

We are making sure to vaccinate our children against deadly diseases, let’s help them understand how to act among strangers.
Vaccinate them with knowledge! It is our job!

Don’t forget to talk to your children, today!

Blonde moment

Oh no, I am having a blonde moment!
The whole house is packed, Olivia is having fever, the dogs are digging up the whole yard or chasing the movers. I need a gin in IV--can't do that--I am pregnant!

Language

Missing In Action = MIA

Living in a Military atmosphere in North Carolina (Fayetteville is dominated by Fort Bragg and Pope Air Force Base) isn’t always easy, specially for one such as me who comes from a country with a strong neutral tradition --- Sweden. Sure we have an Army, but we don’t see them or hear much about them.
When I was expecting my daughter Olivia I was so happy and wanted the whole word to know about it, too. On a t-shirt I ironed my name with white letters on my chest, and Olivia’s name on my belly. I thought it was obvious that it showed I was pregnant and the child’s name was “Olivia”, and my name must be “Mia”.
However, I was so surprised one day when a lady approached me and burst out with sympathy in her voice, “ Oh Honey, I am so sorry that Olivia is missing in action!”

Children and Animals

In many cases, the abuse suffered by the animals mirrors the worst that society visits upon children. Dogs put in ovens eerily echoes stories of children killed by their mothers in clothes driers. A group of puppies captured, and imprisoned under the floor boards of a destroyed, vacant house alludes to stories of young girls taken, tortured and buried alive by pedophiles. Firecrackers thrown into the cage of a neglected zoo bear, as well as his suffering pokes and jabs with sticks and canes, sounds just like caged, abused and neglected foster children.

The victims may have four legs and fur, but the cause and the outcome is stunningly, disgustingly similar. And the moral questions and consequences for society are equally similar.

Some people become upset when they hear the similarity between animals and children’s emotions and behavioral. But at the same time, we may get exited when we observe the gorilla in captivity showing the human-like affection for a kitten. “Motherhood”, we say with a warm touching voice, acknowledging the universality of mammalian emotions. Why not accept that animals help children (as well as adults) with healing and to relieve bad traumatic experiences. The same goes for children (many times) helping animals by giving unto them unconditional love.

Have you talked to your child today, and walked your dog?

Culture

"I thought you could often understand a country better by looking at the rules in people's private lives. It really reveals the values of a culture."

said by Pamela Druckerman

Induced or Seduced?

With English as a second language, I sometimes find myself in situations where I can only blush. Pregnant with Olivia, my male doctor had told me that they would have to “induce” me for Olivia to come out.
And so they did and everything went great.
A couple of month’s later people asked me if Olivia had been born on her due date?
“Oh,yes I was seduced by my doctor.”
My husband broke out in sweat when he had to correct me that it was “induced” rather than “seduced!”

Animal Voice

I have been living in United States for some time now, and have realized even more what illusionall thoughts I had. How silly to even think that this is a country without many animal problems. In one way the US is very advanced in their technology and rescue for animals; in some states they even have their own animal police. But there is another side of the coin, and that is the stray dogs, and the high number of euthanization, and also many animal health problems.
What many foreign people forget is that America is more than twice as big as Europe, so that will make for more dogs- and thus more problems.

Wherever people live on this planet, evilness and kindness will always co-exist; how we end up is based on how we are raised.
So during this time have I heard and seen a lot of de-clawing, and even de-drooling!? One lady had a Labrador who was drooling so much that she took the dog to her veterinarian and had him de-drooled.

One day, a lady in our neighborhood, came walking with TJ, and her other two dogs. They all looked so happy together that I had to stop and talk with her. She told me she was from another state and had left their big farm were they had owned quite a lot of land. In their old home, the big dog that is a mix of Beagle and something big (“Coon dog”) was barking and howling a lot. The neighbors were complaining, and the farmers were not happy. The lady was afraid that they would shoot TJ and she could not have him locked in the house for the whole day. She had to think of something to save her dog, because she refused to have him adopted away or even worse, euthanized. She spoke to her veterinarian and he suggested that she could have TJ de-barked. Shocked at first, she thought that was cruel to the poor dog, but when she had calmed down; she realized that she did not have any other options. But she felt guilty; who was she to decide to take away an animal’s voice? She did some research and talked to her veterinarian some more and finally decided to let her dog have the surgery.

I can understand a lot of guilt will come with a decision like this, and I had to question myself, would I do the same? I am not saying this should be something that is done for convenience, merely tired of hearing their dog barking. If a problem is something you can remove by training, you should do that. But if my neighbors- that are hunters- were threatening me, and the law would not protect me and my dog?

There will always be different views among people over how to take care of animals, but never forget that they have the same emotional feelings as we human beings. Some humans submit to life altering operations to remain among the civilized world, decisions others wouldn’t even contemplate. Perhaps our animals would choose the same as we do for them, but we can never be sure. As the ones with the ability to choose, we owe it to our dear animal friends/companions to make sure that any choice we make to alter them is for necessity and not convenience or vanity.

Book by Chris Hansen

On-line, Predators don’t have a face, they lie about their age, and many times speaking to a “stranger” can make us feel much better.
They have time to groom you, “working” several "kids" at the same time on-line.
Flattering and understanding are they grooming children/teenagers into their nest of evilness.

A must, is to read Chris Hansen (Correspondent for Dateline NBC'S "To Catch a Predator" series) latest book, How to Catch a Predator. It is educating and shows that even a very careful loving father cannot always stop a Predator.
Read the Kacie Woody story (also in Mr. Hansen’s book) on the website http://home.alltel.net/rkw/kaciewoody.htm Send her Father an e mail, let him know we support him and think he is brave, wise and that he is not alone. But most of all--that he is doing a great job.

Have you talked to your child(ren) today?

Hotdogs

Here we go! This day in North Carolina have been hot, close to 90F. Poor animals outside trying to find some shade and water. I hate when I see animals being chained up and the owners are gone the whole day. The sun is burning these fellows. It makes me mad.