KIKI MAUS IS BY THE COLORFUL RAINBOW BRIDGE

 Today at 12.53 we lost beautiful soul. Kiki Maus  RIP

I was never scared of adopting a senior dog, quite the opposite. I saw so much more coming out of it. The maturity, calmness and peacefulness of an older dog, I found so appealing.

Kiki was a hospice client at my foundation Animals Without Limits. When she came to us, it was love at the first sight, we all loved that dog with the longest ears and legs. She was fast on those legs when she put her nose down to the ground and ran in circles in the garden. Kiki was 14 years old when she arrived, and had been on a short chain most of those years. She was an Italian Hound dog, with a long, slim nose and a long, seal-like neck. One day at the hospice a terrible accident had happened with her, and I couldn’t forgive myself. I rushed her to Dr. Damiani’s office where a long surgery had to be conducted immediately. I whispered in Kiki’s ear that when she survived, she would come home to me.

Four years of friendship and love she gave to me, this amazing girl. With the strongest heart and an attitude as being Margret Thatcher, she gracefully mingled around my other dogs. Kind and gentle to all, and all respected and seemed to love her dearly. Our Kiki Maus.

Some say it’s a short time to adopt a senior dog. For us the quality time was long, that is why it was easier to let her go.
Would I turn down a friendship because I know we wouldn’t see each other forever? Traveling and living 4 years here and some years there, would I turn down a new friendship since I know I won’t live there forever?
Memories and time are equal with the love that comes out of everyone’s heart. If you don’t dare to love and invest, so scared to lose and be sad, then you are afraid for your own love.

Kiki my wise woman, I thank you for these beautiful 4 years, you are my light and my wisdom. Go in peace and tell them across the Rainbow Bridge, that we are doing our best to be able to love as much as you do.

The power of unconditional love.

When my wonderful veterinarian Dr. Martina came, you hadn’t been up on your legs since last night. With your wise eyes you looked at us, wagged your tail and lifted your leg for a last belly rub. I cried and smiled at the same time, I hugged you, I kissed you and told you to run quickly over to the other side. Go now!

I could feel your joy, and excitement to be totally free. At 12.53 this afternoon, your heart stopped, but my heart will forever go on for you, my Kiki Maus. I love you so.

Shiloh spent the last weeks sleeping together with Kiki, seemingly guarding her and making sure she was okay through the nights. This afternoon Shiloh has been guarding her from the pack. She growls, she jumps out at the other dogs to stay away. She doesn’t want anything to happen to her friend. And, as she had done when our dear Labrador “Ranger” died tragically in 2007, she lovingly pushed the blanket around Kiki with her nose, as if tucking her in for her body’s long slumber.

That’s Amore!

Mia Mattsson-Mercer (c) 2013

COLORFUL FRIENDS

Still I have "bad" days from having  Chronicle Lyme. Not as often as before and I am blessed/lucky that the days are not every day. But when they come and surprise me, it feels colorless.
My muscles stops to work, I feel nauseas and can only eat fresh spinach (Mrs Popeye ).
 I am like a zombie. Cannot think and work.
Its scary when the body shuts down!  And, I cannot plan--my doctors already told me that it will be difficult to plan vacations and trips. Yesterday, I cried and cried....even if I have faith in my heart some days I allow my self to be colorless. Then when I cannot get up from the dark whole it is wonderful to have friends that makes me smile. --

Something very touching was sent to me from a friend Kirsten. She had colored the post and re-wrote the text.

That gave me a big smile. Thank you Kirsten.

That's Amore!

HAVE A PEACEFUL DAY

Good morning to a najs (as we say in South Sweden) day. I am on my way out to see if I can find colorful things with my colorful children today. Exited!

That's Amore!

COLORFUL DAYS

 Isn't it amazing when your mind start to like something you suddenly see the things everywhere. I went  food shopping and was grabbing the cheese, turned my head to see where my son was. Next to his head I saw this fun bracelet. I think the Hippy fashion is already here!

When we went to Tubingen one day last week, we wanted of course to have lunch. There are many lunch restaurants so picking one was difficult. We stopped looked at the menu outside a place that looked nice.  MAX --my five year old son-- shouted he only wanted bread! A couple giggled standing next to me, they thought he was cute. Out of the blue the couple then told us where the two  best lunch restaurants in the city were located. The hotel they were staying at (a four star) had recommended them. So we went to one of the places, and it was lovely. Risotto with steamed vegetable.
Maybe not so colorful for the eye, but for the taste.

I love how the wasp is flying in on the picture.

I work a lot!
Every day!
I have to since I love it. I'm always up around 0600 and in bed around 23.00.

Imagine how much you can do, eat and drink? Amazing.

I started a new project for Animals Without Limits.
No, it's not a dog house.
If you brain exercise; try to put the colored letters together....then you will figure it out.

That's Amore!

READING

BOOKS IN MY HOME

Books in my home is the most important furniture. It is also very interesting and fun to visit a new home to figure out the peoples taste. In the book case not on the coffee table, there it is only "show off"

That's Amore!

COLORFUL HIPPY MOM!

I never thought I would see myself in a store with wonderful fabrics. Me, who is not talented of designing or making clothing with fabrics. I can have ideas, but don't know what or how to cut, or lay it out, or sew. But I found this sweet and wonderful store, in the town were I live. The owner is  talented and has a very welcoming heart. Two wonderful friends, Kirsten and Gerda, invited me to join the creative group every Wednesday mornings. My friends are making clothing and I am starting out with wonderful curtains for my own hobby room. Beautiful Butterflies!
I simply cannot wait to see them hung up!

Yesterday, I went to Tubingen and passed a store that had this jacket that I am wearing in the pictures. I couldn't resist it! In daylight it is more colorful but I love the material and the Peace signs.

Another for an early birthday present for me! I know, my birthday is in October but why wait? This bag, my husband bought for me.

The gorgeous neckless I found on line, and normally I never buy on line-- (except for books). But I couldn't let the image go and I found the store to order it in the UK.

So Happy Birthday Mia....like I said...why wait?!

That's Amore!

MY MIND AND MY LEGS BACK

 The best thing about getting better is all the books I can now read. Ok, it is not with the same speed, but at least I can READ! It was a nightmare not being able to read during the worst period of my sickness. The enormous pain, and the feeling like I was starting to lose my mind was scary and terrifying.

The other best thing right now, is that I can walk. I can WALK! Without too much pain and together with my children. The worst part earlier was to see the family also suffering. When someone in the family gets ill, its not only about them, the whole family will suffer too. To watch my kids' sad eyes when I didn't have the strength to do anything, I only sat on a chair and cried.

When I finally started to get help at the Augsburg Clinic (World Famous Borrelia Clinic) in November 2012, starting with the heavy antibiotic treatment IV and now in August 2013 I am still on antibiotics but Herbal and with supplements. Everything has helped me enormously. Of course, also working with my mind and spirit, the road has (is) been long.

I told my children in November 2012 that the up-coming summer, I would be able to do a lot more together with them. I had to fight because of them!  And this summer we have done a lot! Last weekend we hiked together with friends and some of our dogs not far away from were we live.

Look at the view! Its the amazing Black Forest. And, I am the luckiest woman to have gotten my life and family back, and in this Paradise Athmosphere.

That's Amore!

WAKING UP FROM COMA LAND INTO COLOR LAND

 

 I feel like I am re-born again!

Like the Princess that slept for 100 years and woke up by a kiss-- but, no one kissed me. Perhaps, one of our 13 dogs?

I feel like I have been in a dark coma and only recently awoken. I don't recognize myself but I like the new me.

Colors, colors and colors. I want so much color around me and on me. This colorful dog always makes me happy to look at.  I love him and I make sure he got a good spot in my house.

The Lyme disease really knocked me to the bottom, but I fought my way back up. I felt I was close to dying and it was a vulnerable, scary time filled with demons and fog dancing around my bed. Yesterday I said to a friend that I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, and I wish I could help everyone who has it.  My Lyme Friends I am always thinking of you.

 My therapy is to paint, and I have taken it up, together with my daughter. First I didn't want to show them since I am not an artist, but then I noticed how much fun it is to guess what comes out from the brush. And friends enjoyed it too.

"That's Amore!" has long been my catch phrase, really solidifying when I wrote for Magazine NARA for three years.  Still on Facebook, I end my posts with it. After many years, and stories from Italy...That's Amore!

I painted the Earth with colored sperm around it, fertilizing our World with love. Olivia (8 years-old) came up and said she loved my painting.  I asked her if she knew what it was?

"Mom! I love the tadpoles!"

Olivia painted this wonderful colorful painting with horses and jewels.  It made me think of horse selling a long time ago from Europe to Turkey.

It is so much fun to look at the paintings and try to translate them.   We each find our own meaning among the colors and shapes. What is your Color?

That's Amore!

ART IN KINDERGARTEN GIVES MOMMY JOY

Yesterday evening before bedtime my wonderful five-year-old son and I talked over the importance of having good friends. He was very upset about not having many friends. I told Max that having a few really good friends in life was very good.  It was the quality of the friendship, not the amount of friends that was important. I could see Max’ brain going, and suddenly he looked at me with the biggest blue eyes, “I got you mom, you are my best friend!

Moments like that are priceless, to keep and cherish those moments in your heart is LOVE.

My Max goes to a German Kindergarten and he loves it. I love it too. It’s a two minute walk from our house. They play outside every morning from 10.00 until I pick him up at 12.00 for lunch at our home. What a joy to sit and have lunch with him and listen to his day --- who hit him and who he hit!

One day months ago they had art day and his whole class painted one picture together. The teacher hung it up on the wall and in my eyes; it was the most beautiful painting in the world.

I loved the colors! I loved the perspective. That every child in the class had contributed to its creation made it special. Every morning it made me smile entering the classroom. I asked half seriously, half joking how much it was, because I wanted to buy the painting. 
The teacher smiled and told me other parents had asked them the same question and perhaps one day they would have an exhibition.

And so, months later, the Kindergarten held an Open House, art exhibition and auction.  I was so happy when I received my invitation.

We were many parents and it was a lovely day, warm sunshine, home baked cakes and even champagne. Parents in the village walking through, inspecting the art and projects the children of different ages had made. Neighbors reconnecting with neighbors, friends and teachers all chatting together, not at all concerned with the diversity of backgrounds and ethnicities.  Or, perhaps because of it.

The auction started and “my” painting came up first. We started out at the price of €10. Several were bidding initially, but It quickly became a contest between me and one other man, each stubbornly bidding against each other, running up the price. €20… €22... €25.  I felt positive excitement. €30… €42 … €51….On top of everything, my German was poor. €55… €60….. I didn’t understand if I was bidding over myself twice or what?  €65 … People laughed!  €67… I was giddy!  €68… my husband whispered behind my ear, “stop it now! Just stop it!”  €70…

I was determined. €72… The painting had to be mine, €75…for months I had already known where I would hang the colorful masterpiece.  €82…

And VICTORY!!!…at €90, the artwork became mine!  I had to dash home to get the extra money!

I was like a little kid who had won her first competition. This day was the best, colorful day in a long time for me. Walking in the sunshine carrying home the “Rexingener Picasso” and hanging it in my office was simply heaven. Such a proud Mom!

That’s Amore!

PS: The money that was collected through the auction during the Open House, went toward the Kindergarten’s fundraising for a new playground. They were very happily surprised that the painting sold for as much as it did.  For me, it was a win-win day!

THOUGHTS BECOMES COLORFUL

I feel like a snake, or, perhaps like the two lizards that we just recently rescued.

When I look at Lizzy Lizard and her peeling skin, is this just how I feel. Like a
"too big size" costume lying on the floor, discarded.

Lyme disease changes everything about you:  
Your taste, how your body is
feeling, your family, hobbies, dreams and your mind. For me, who loves to
live fast and wants to do many things at the same time, this is horrible. 
I felt like going through a haunted house. In the dark, being scared trying to
find the light under the door to get out. Me, who loves saving lives and
will work day and night to find a new way to rescue lives, had to try to
rescue myself. And I knew, I had to stay positive and find other doors and
shut the old ones behind me. Not to focus on why, but instead focus on when and how to get better.

I couldn't sit in my house with a blanket over my knees reading a book being
"lucky" to heal. The pain was like being stabbed with knives the whole time.

Being the strong one --- becoming weak.

At the deepest depths of Lyme, I felt Death was darkening my doorstep.

Get away! I am not ready!

You Dark Death, I will paint you in bright colors! That should be my next painting! Yes.

Colors and colors, I just love it. I feel like I want to be a "Hippie Mom".
Dress in colors, paint in colors. I guess I scare the whole family with my
brush now! Step aside....here comes mommy color.



That's Amore!

 I bought these two items in Sweden. Just love them!

I KNOW I AM BETTER SINCE I SEE IN COLORS

 What a process! What a year of battling this awful Lyme Disease! The Crime of Lyme! But I know I am getting much better.  Not only do the tests show it, my love for colors is back. Battling Lyme is not only a health issue, it is mental and family. Your mind is getting into a Zombie-state, pain in the body and depression is sneaking up, waiting in the hallway to enter your mind. You don't only fight the pain you have to take back control of your mind. No one else can do it for you. I started to paint and dream again. I had to change my dreams since I know my body will not be able to do what I had previously dreamed about. So I changed my dreams and re-painted the picture in my heart.

 This is the first time I am holding a brush and acrylic paint. I have no idea what to paint, but let my intuition buy what I needed and followed with my hands what comes out from my mind.
The butterfly is me, exploded out from the ocean of madness, pain, chaos --- into the area of light and energy from the colored stones.

 This colorful acrylic painting was done by Olivia (8 years old) and me, creating together. I love how she wrote AWL on top (our rescue organization www.animalswithoutlimits.com) I am so proud over my daughter.  I hope we will create more paintings together.

That's Amore!