COLORFUL FRIENDS

Still I have "bad" days from having  Chronicle Lyme. Not as often as before and I am blessed/lucky that the days are not every day. But when they come and surprise me, it feels colorless.
My muscles stops to work, I feel nauseas and can only eat fresh spinach (Mrs Popeye ).
 I am like a zombie. Cannot think and work.
Its scary when the body shuts down!  And, I cannot plan--my doctors already told me that it will be difficult to plan vacations and trips. Yesterday, I cried and cried....even if I have faith in my heart some days I allow my self to be colorless. Then when I cannot get up from the dark whole it is wonderful to have friends that makes me smile. --

Something very touching was sent to me from a friend Kirsten. She had colored the post and re-wrote the text.

That gave me a big smile. Thank you Kirsten.

That's Amore!

I KNOW I AM BETTER SINCE I SEE IN COLORS

 What a process! What a year of battling this awful Lyme Disease! The Crime of Lyme! But I know I am getting much better.  Not only do the tests show it, my love for colors is back. Battling Lyme is not only a health issue, it is mental and family. Your mind is getting into a Zombie-state, pain in the body and depression is sneaking up, waiting in the hallway to enter your mind. You don't only fight the pain you have to take back control of your mind. No one else can do it for you. I started to paint and dream again. I had to change my dreams since I know my body will not be able to do what I had previously dreamed about. So I changed my dreams and re-painted the picture in my heart.

 This is the first time I am holding a brush and acrylic paint. I have no idea what to paint, but let my intuition buy what I needed and followed with my hands what comes out from my mind.
The butterfly is me, exploded out from the ocean of madness, pain, chaos --- into the area of light and energy from the colored stones.

 This colorful acrylic painting was done by Olivia (8 years old) and me, creating together. I love how she wrote AWL on top (our rescue organization www.animalswithoutlimits.com) I am so proud over my daughter.  I hope we will create more paintings together.

That's Amore!

WHAT YOU THINK YOU FEEL

Living with Lyme disease (that also comes with co-infections) is not only "eating" your health, it "eats" on your mentality too. Every good thought can suddenly be changed in a heartbeat to a negative thought. Its difficult for outsiders to really understand since it is even confusing for us and many doctors. But there is hope, and of course a lot of work.

 First its important to focus on what makes you smile and to force that thought process into a routine in your daily morning routines. It’s not easy! 

 I started to collect "good thoughts” and I put as many were I can see them, first thing in the morning.

 WORK-YOU CAN DO IT-HOPE PICTURES

 This painting was my birthday present from my husband. I love animal portraits since it makes me smile, I'd seen this on a trip to a nearby town.  Animals make me smile. Every morning when I come down from the second floor I see my cow and cannot help but to smile.

 Earlier on the blog you could read my column about friendship and faith. Martina sent me a wonderful letter about how my words had changed her life in a positive way. I framed the letter in a beautiful silver frame and I keep it in my office to be able to read it every day.

 Reading!
Finally after a very long time of not being able to read, I can now enjoy reading again. It goes slowly and I get tired quickly, but it is progress in the right direction. I don't get as dizzy as before, and I can read more than one page before loosing the book's concept. It was  frustrating reading and then realizing I had no idea what I had read in the first place.

I like to read different litteratures. It is like eating during the day. Different food can stimulate different taste buds. My brain needs different stories.

I only publish the ones that I like. When I don't like a book I put it away, since writing negatively would not be fair to the author or other readers that might like the book. Each person's taste is different.
Who knows, maybe next year will I love the book. We are on various journeys, moods and we have different expectations.

Book, Happy Kids! Who doesn't want happy kids?
This book is a good remainder and a lot of common sense in every chapter. Sometimes you just need to be reminded about which you already know and feel to have a happy family.

The power of Praying Wife, was given to me one year ago from "moms group." Last week I dusted the book off and started to read.  I love the author's way of  sharing of herself about her marriage problems and mistakes and how she turned it around to be positive.

Tess Gerritsen has always been one of my favorites and she is a fantastic medical-thriller author. She keeps me glued from the first page to the end. None of her books have made disappointed me.

Gaby, our wonderful rescue dog that was terribly  sick April 2012 with a high fever and infections She was even waging her tail when she was found so incredibly sickly. She never gave up, not one day .... every day despite feeling horrible for eight long months she never stopped waging her tail. Today, she lives adopted by a wonderful person in Sweden and has many friends.

What can Gaby teach us?

--- Never give up no matter how hard it feels, keep wagging your tail....you're happy day will return!

That's Amore!

LEAVE THE CAR KEYS HOME MOM

Urgh! The things I do when working through this "brain fog" caused by Lyme disease.

During the whole year I have been sick, I think one of the worst parts is having "brain fog". Before getting diagnosed with Lyme disease, I swore I had started to get Alzheimer's. It is scary and embarrassing and especially difficult for one who works as a writer.  Suddenly, I would lose what I was thinking. Or out driving and I said to my daughter; "Olivia, do you recognize where we are?" I had passed our exit 30 minuets before, we were on the way to Switzerland! (Thank God my daughter is young and only giggles)

I try to do my best and raise my children to be polite. If they have done something wrong or hurtful they have to apologize.
A couple of days ago, me and my children were ready to go in my Jeep, I made sure the kids were buckled up and I put it in reverse and started out of our carport. Kaboong!

What was that?

"Mom!!! you just hit a car, now you have to go and apologize."

And so I did. I swear I didn't see it. Today I got the "thank you:" 3500 euro. How I in this moment miss Naples, Italy when we lived there. My SUV, so damaged on the sides that it became a joke from my husband every day I came home, "Honey, what color is on the sides today?"

There, it was a smile and a "domani" (tomorrow) and for free. That's Amore.

HAVE A STRESS FREE WEEKEND

 The more I research Lyme disease, the more surprised I am about the ignorance towards so many sick people --- . As with other illnesses, it's possible to be very ill and outwardly look fine. Very low energy levels, neurologic and brain dysfunction don’t often change a person’s appearance. Family and friends are sometimes hard on victims simply because they don’t look sick. Don't give up searching for your answer to why you are sick.

 This is Mullet, a dumped dog and now searching after a new family. He is such a sweet heart, he just wants to stay close to people and especially boys. He was out hiking with teenage boys escorting them around where he now lives. He is around 8 years-old, castrated yesterday thanks to volunteer Lori and sponsored by Animals Without Limits. He is in Southern Italy, but we can arrange a passport and have him at your door whenever you say YES!

This is how I look in the mornings. With two small children and "around" fifteen dogs. But it is also very soothing for my body especially when seven of them lay in my office snoring while I am writing.

I wish you all a stress free weekend! That's Amore.

A NEW START

 With a lot of lovely pressure from many people around the world, I have now decided to re-start my old blog. This time I will write about different subjects that are dear to me. I have a wide range of readers, but mostly they are my animal rescuer and fans. But I am also a mother, writer, lecturer, rescuer and a Lyme disease warrior.

 In the next issue of the Swedish Dog Magazine,  "Harliga Hund, there will be a great article about mine and my Animals Without Limits (AWL) volunteers-work down in South Italy. I am so thrilled that a great magazine like "Harliga Hund" is giving us spotlight on the stray situation.

HARLIGA HUND FB

 I still volunteer full time for my lovely foundation Animals Without Limits I love this picture I feel like this will be me after 30 years, still driving across Europe with dogs that are being adopted. My goal is to open more hospice facilities for older and sick strays. For more information you can follow our work on our  AWL BLOG

For over two years have I been writing a column for the Swedish Spiritual Magazine, Tidningen NARA You can visit the link and read more about them. I will continue writing stories that are use by NARA, most of the them will be spiritual stories about animals and we people.

I am happy to be back! That's Amore!