When the mother confronted the teacher, she claimed it wasn’t that bad --- kids could be nasty as teenagers. It had been like that when the teacher grew up forty-years previously.
What we don’t see is that our society is changing in every generation with more cruelty. And the changes seem to be accelerating generation to generation. Since cable television and the Internet came into our living rooms (good and bad), violence has become closer to us in different ways. It can have a strong impact on many teenagers’ minds, and even we adults.
There are even suicide sites on internet were other “people” encourage teenagers to commit suicide!.
Another kind of cult is born!
Young peoples’ minds are fragile and easily manipulated, and it is not until they are around twenty one-years old that their brain is fully developed. We adults have forgotten how our minds and spirits worked in our younger days. We may have been harassed or even bullied, but we could get away from it to a sanctuary.
We didn’t get harassed through e mails or text messages like many children are today. Imagine sitting at home, in your sanctuary, and being encouraged to commit suicide… how emotionally debilitating would that be?
Many young people are home alone a lot, with parents working many hours and the youth’s new friend becomes the computer. We used to think the television was a horrible babysitter, and it was. But imagine how much more insidious is the internet! Something about the interactive nature of it makes it that much more compelling and dangerous. It is more difficult for parents to be aware of the warning signals since we were not raised with the new technology.
We cannot change what we don’t know, but the first step is communication, getting to know our children, just being a part of their thoughts, not only their activities.
How many of us adults didn’t write in our diary as teenagers how lonely we felt, that no one understood us; we had broken hearts and our life was over. But a diary didn’t respond, and didn’t manipulate those emotions facelessly.
My friend blames herself for working too much, “But I had to pay the bills.”
Suddenly, she looks at me with another sparkle in her eyes, “I am going to cut down on my hours, which means we cannot afford our big house. But I bet we can find a smaller house that is cute, and I can be home more with Amanda.”
One year later she sent me a letter; We found a smaller house but it has this old charm. Amanda and I painted the rooms in different bright colors and on the weekends we went out on yard sales finding furniture that we are re-modeling. It is a long term project but we are having so much fun together. The computer is now in the living room area so we both can keep an eye on each other. I never realized that you could become seduced by a computer. I guess some people feel more powerful behind their computer, that their words can eat themselves in through the receiver’s brain and heart. Fantasies can become true and no one can laugh at you and your low self-esteem.
Amanda and I are much closer to each other, and having this project together teaches us more who we are. We can both see that we have made something good out of our days. We even compromise; if Amanda thinks a bright pink hallway is cool and I think a light olive color is more suitable we try to have a discussion. The hallway is now bright yellow, like a sunny day, that welcomes you into our home when you open the door.
Both our lives’ are more meaningful, and Amanda is doing wonderfully. I had forgotten how it is to grow up and how scary the word can feel to a teenager.
Have you talked to your child(ren) today?
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