LET THE CHILDREN KNOW WE ARE THERE FOR THEM

I held a lecture about my work as an animal psychologist. A mother approached me wanting to talk to me in private. We arranged for a day to meet since I could feel her sadness, like she had one million of stones hanging around her neck. We met in a beautiful park sitting on a bench. It took some minutes before she took a deep breath and started to tell me her story.(-- In my book I wrote about me being bullying in school. The years of horror, constantly nightmares and fear during the day. The brain and heart never rested from anxiety.---)
Her son is paralyzed laying in a bed like a baby, despite that he is now 16 years old. Close to every day was her boy harassed, with words. His dad told him to hit back and they would stop bullying him at school.

"Boys will always be boys! You have to stand up for yourself!"
His son tried but they were four against him that day. The teacher was yelling at everyone, even the boy being attacked. The teacher disliked that he was causing a problem that she didn't want in her classroom.

When he walked home from school one day, the boys were following him. When no one saw they attacked him, badly.

To make many years of battle and tears short. Every one in school blamed on each other, denial, fear and then....silence. Some teachers changed school, but the children had to stay.

We adults don't like or accept to be treated incorrect, being yelled at, called names or hit!!!

What are we teaching our children by our silence?
How will they become as adults?

The best defense against Bullying, Cyberbullying, Harassment, and even threats of physical violence is to create an atmosphere where children can communicate with adults. Too many children feel unprotected and unsafe not just in schools but in their communities.

Our silence is not helping the children. Lets be great raw-models so our children can be proud over us....and safe.

That's Amore!

BULLYING IS NOT OK(2)

After the first hitting incident towards my son Max I talked to the teacher and parents. I felt it was out there. Now everyone knew and could keep our eyes open. To prevent children from hurting each other.

I spoke to Max that it is not ok to be hit and laughed at. Respect and kindness are what rules in our home. 

Yes, it is ok to be angry and argue, but never hit anyone or let the anger go out on someone else in a cruel way.

Max (7y) and I talked about that he should always come and talk to me if something is wrong in school. He wouldn't worry me, he wouldn't be in any trouble at all, and I promised to always be there for him.

Max didn't say anything more to me. Every day I asked him how school was. 

'It‘s fine!' he answered me back.

I tried to come up with different questions, trying to outsmart him. And I thought this week had been fine.

Three parents that doesn't know each other, contacted me telling they were sorry to hear that Max still got hit in school!

I froze!

I didn't finish reading the messages, I walked out to Max that sat watching tv. I turned off the tv and sat down next to him.

'Max! I have been told that you are still getting hit in school. Is that true?'

Max looked down and started to tell me that one boy had grabbed his shirt and with big force thrown him into the wall were sharp metal hangers had hit his back head. He had cried! Kids laughed.

I, his mother cried so hard out of anger, and feeling my sons broken heart.

'Its ok mom!'

I said I would go again and talk this time with the principal and find someone that could translate for me. I don't want the emotions to disappear in the lack of my language. And I have noticed many times that if you cannot speak the language proper you are not taken seriously.

Max hugged me and said, 'mom sit here and wait.' He disappeared out in the kitchen.  A couple of minutes later he came with a small trey with a cup of coffee and a note written in red, MOM and a heart and two lovebirds. 

He was trying to make me happy! I realized I had to show him my concern, not tears. I would have to do that later, alone. Not that I am ashamed or don't want to show tears, but in this content now he knows I get sad, enough with tears and time to show full action.

I asked him if it was ok to tell his story in public. He nodded, he wanted that very much.

My daughter  is 10 years old a beautiful spirit. Together with me she is working with animals and holding lectures. She and her brother went out to play with their friends on the street. There are these sisters, same age as Olivia and Max. The younger girl fell on her inliner since it was slippery on the street. The bigger sister flew on top of her sister and hit her while screaming naughty words. Olivia got upset and told her to stop being mean to her sister. The older sister looked at Olivia with dark eyes and said, 'I hate my sister.' and walked away.

This is not ok!

Bullying a Person is not OK

When some kids start bullying another child, it is like an invisible energy goes out on the school yard, that it is ok for others to also join bullying--as laughing.

Parents talk to your children about bullying. Do not hit them, talk, explain and show examples.

And parents, support each other, you are the children's raw models.

This is my son and he is getting bullied It is not OK!

My Biggest Star

 This upcoming week its time for my handsome boy to start first grade and in German school. Im so proud of him. He has the biggest sweetest heart.

When he was born we didn't know if he would survive. It was the worst moment in my life. But he overcame it and has grown to become a strong fine young man. I love spending time together with him, listning to his thoughts about kindness and love.

Like he always says, 'Mom, Love is the Religion in our House'

That's Amore!

WORKING FROM HOME Yippy Ya Yeah

Having your own office at home is wonderful, no doubt about that. 

Everyone think I am the luckiest someone who can read and watch TV whenever I want during the day. No bossy boss around me. However, not many people are taking your work seriously and sends reminders if I haven't answered quickly enough on FB or Twitter. --and it is dangerous to slip in there the whole time--you are getting hocked. 

Kids home from school--and "yippee" there are many and long holidays these days. When the kids are home I'm trying to go up at 04.00 and work until they go up around 0900. SO when I want to take one hour nap in the afternoon since my "mom shift" ends around 23.00 the whole house is going crazy, "Mom, you always sleep, its not fair!"

Some parents think its great if I pick up their kids since I am at "home" Or having their friends over after school. "They eat what ever you give them so they wouldn't be to any extra problems!" the parents says.

O....key!!!!

Trying to create my thoughts for finishing my manuscript with barking dogs in the background, fighting kids and asking if they can use my computer; "Mom it's not fair I don't have a computer, Lisa in my class (1 grade) got one in HER ROOM!!!.

When I come back the keyboard is sticky with peanut butter, or something "I don't want to know what it is"

And the lizards food in my office (I didn't put them there but everyone voted that since I had such a big office and my table was the only that was big enough) = crickets playing for me "let me out, let me out!" it is a kind of psych thing feeling over that. Especially when you are close to being Vegan! (and the crickets doesn't like can crickets--)

Despite all that, I am home if something would happen in school (with my children) and I can run over quickly--2 minutes run--. My children will always know that their mom is home, it gives them a safety feeling. For lunch I can hear everything that happened in the morning; who pulled whose hair, and who gets everything while they doesn't get anything. And...at lunchtime, I am still awake.



Regardless of all the craziness, I can have a glass (or two) of wine during my office hours in my coffeecup. That's Amore!

Now that is something!