The little feather was alos burnt like my soul felt !
Sometimes life hits you hard and many times it feels like; "this is enough"! And then you turn your thoughts around and you realise how lucky you were. Pity Party is Over!
The Guardian Angels worked for full force together with me that day when I opened the door to our Home.
Backstory;
Children and me were in the stable that day a quiet beautiful day. The children wanted to stay a little longer, but me, wanted to go home this Friday late afternoon, to have a little "mom time" A glass of red wine, read or write in my room, I only wanted to spend time with me.
Finally we got into the car and on our way home I told them that we needed to stop and buy dinner, something good to eat this Friday evening. The kids shrugged their shoulders on my question what they wanted to eat.
"I am not going in Friday to the store bouncing around with a lot of people trying to figure out what you want to eat!" I said in a slightly irritated voice. --kind of a high tone to be honest!
Home we went, parked the car.
It was strangely quiet from the house. I shut my car door to that normally wakes our 12 dogs up in the house. But no now. Silence!
The kids ran over to their friends to play. Me, walked towards the house with a smile on my lips, eventually some mommy quiet time.
I pressed down the handle to our front door.
SMOKE hit me down. A dog ran out!
The whole big house was filled with thick smoke. I fell down on my knees and crawled in.
My mind didn't think, I only acted like a robot. I opened the big gate that divided the house, and dragged some of the dogs back out.
How I could find them, I really don't know even today
The fire was in the living room into my office room.
The twelve dogs were secure outside and I started to scream for help!
Lovely neighbours and like a fireman said, "ten minutes later and your house would be down!"
Afterwards, I sat in the garden holding a bottle of wine and my Iphone in my hand. Dogs looked fine. Now I realised I was't! I scrolled down all the names, all hundreds.....but I felt I had no one to call.
How I wished to have a family near by.
My dogs were like, "You saved us a second time!"
I didn't feel gratitude or happiness, and I felt bad for not feeling the 'right' feelings.
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