I've Got a Backbone...

...I want to think that, even if its just a very small one.

When I was expecting Olivia, I read an article about a woman who had a problem with speaking up, "to let her voice be loud". Yet she said when she got her child she had to work to get a "backbone"..."to be able to stand up for my daughter in the future I couldn't be a blond mouse anymore"

I thought then the idea of "getting a backbone" was a good self-coaching mantra, so I started to use that every time I wanted to back out of something that made me feel uncomfortable. Or, to complain at the hospital when they had treated my daughter incorrectly (and I was right, so no chicken mom here!)

There is a flip-side, however. I noticed that I became uncomfortable about some people, because they had to work harder since I started to ask why? Or say no!

When other women could be catty I backed off, and they got my power. I hated that, that they made me feel little and ugly. So now I have reclaimed my backbone, especially in my home and with my family. Here I am the lion mother who will fight for my backbone rights.


One thing I find enjoying amusing, is when people I don't know tell me how to raise my children. At a recent dinner party, one of the guests, a woman, was trying to get as many points from her new boyfriend "I know best, I am taking control here." Understandable, but the problem was the foil in her game was ME!



Max (11 months) crawls now and we have tiles that are ice cold. I dress him in double layers of clothing, since his tummy would otherwise be so cold. Ms Cat (as I called her) picked him up and started to joggle with him in the air, tickling him to which we were all where smiling. She stops abruptly, looks at me and bursts out; "He is sweating how can you dress him this warm?"

My explanation, with a smile. "Max crawls to the steps, as he loves to sit and hit with his small hands on the first steps. I am a hawk-eye mom, so don't worry!'

Ms Cat runs over and pulls him up from the floor; 'Watch it he can hit himself, this is dangerous!"

I explained solely with my smile.

So this went on and at the end of the evening I had had it. My "hostess politeness" started to shiver when she walked up and "saved" my son that she just met.

My backbone started to talk; "Lady, I am his mother, you are a guest, so go and relax"

And I Amore smiled. Thank God I had my ears or my smile would have gone around my head!

Read about the true backbones on www.animalswithoutlimits.blogspot.com